The Subtle Bookstore
by Ketchupwings
Summary: Tessa Gray, aspiring novelist, happens to wander into a small, quaint bookstore tucked away from the hustle and bustle of London's streets. There, she meets two boys, one dark-haired, one silver-haired, who catch her intrigue. What will happen? Rated T cuz I'm paranoid.
1. Chapter 1

**The idea for this story, like the ideas for so many things I do, came to me in a flash of inspiration, and I've spent the past few days working on and refining this one chapter. I hope you enjoy the product!**

Tessa stepped into the small bookstore. For a moment, she closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of books – a scent that was lost in large bookstore chains like Waterstones or Barnes &amp; Noble. Then she opened her eyes and looked at the shelves that lay before her.

_The Institute Bookstore_. Tessa made it a point to check out every bookstore in the area where she lived, and so far she liked this one best. A subtle bookstore, nestled away in a narrow alleyway. It was only a few yards away from the hustle and bustle of London, and yet it was worlds away. It was so quiet, such a contrast to the speed and hastiness of one of the busiest cities in the world. Here, time stood still. It was the perfect atmosphere to pick up a book and read.

"Lovely," she sighed, running her hands over the spines of well-worn books.

People these days loved enormous bookstore chains with air conditioning and rows and rows and rows of bookshelves selling fresh bestsellers. And that was all well and good, but Tessa felt that small bookstores like these held just as much charm.

Having lived in London for two months now, Tessa could safely say that small bookstores like these were far more common here than they were on the busy streets of Manhattan. That was just one reason why she'd chosen to come here to write her novel.

Pulling one of the books off the shelf, she opened it and began to read.

"_A Tale of Two Cities_. A cliché choice."

Tessa looked up, ready to give a sharp retort, but she stopped short when she saw who had spoken.

Onyx-black hair. Blue eyes, the deepest shade of blue she'd ever seen. Long eyelashes. A tall, well-built figure, with sinewy muscles visible even through the T-shirt he wore. In short, one of the most gorgeous boys Tessa had ever seen.

As Tessa stared, he raised his eyebrows. "Struck dumb by my beauty?" he inquired.

Tessa was jolted back into her powers of speech. "No, I'm just unaccustomed to blatantly rude idiots accosting me in bookstores," she said frankly.

The young man laughed. "American, I see. I suppose you're all straightforward, aren't you?"

"That's one way of putting it," Tessa said warily, eyeing him.

Just then, another boy popped his head round the corner. "I thought I heard Will attacking a new victim," he said, coming fully into Tessa's line of sight. "I do apologize if he's offended you in any way."

"No, no, not at all," Tessa stammered as she took in this boy. Slimmer and slightly shorter than his companion, he had silvery hair and eyes, and an ethereal look about him. Tessa sensed a beautiful fragility about this boy, one which she'd rarely seen.

"She looks alarmed," commented the dark-haired boy. "Do you suppose she's quite well?"

"That's quite enough," the silver-haired boy reprimanded him.

"I'm sorry, who are the two of you?" Tessa asked.

"William Herondale!" the dark-haired boy declared, placing a hand to his own chest. "And I'm sure you won't ever forget me."

"Sure," Tessa snorted under her breath, which made the silver-haired boy laugh.

"I'm Jem," he introduced himself, holding his hand out for Tessa to shake.

"Tessa Gray," she returned as she shook the outstretched hand.

"Are you planning on returning to the Institute bookstore?" Jem inquired.

"I am indeed."

"Well, then you'll probably see more of us. It's Will's favourite bookstore, you see – books are his great love."

"Along with Bethany, Beverly, Brittany – " Will started to say, before Jem elbowed him.

"Well, you and I are in agreement on that matter," Tessa said. "Books are what keeps me sane sometimes."

Will looked at her. She expected him to say some sort of sharp jibe.

"Interesting," was all he said.

There was silence for a moment, and then Jem cleared his throat. "We'd better be going," he said. "We have things to do."

"I'll not stand in your way, then," Tessa smiled, stepping aside so the two boys could pass through.

As they stepped through the exit, Will turned around again. "Fare thee well, Tessa! I fully look forward to sweeping you off your feet once more next time we meet."

"Don't be too sure," Tessa called after him as he turned and disappeared from sight. Yet, as she turned back to her books, she found she had a smile on her face and couldn't stop thinking about a certain black-haired, blue-eyed individual.

**I'm sorry it's not a very long first chapter, but hopefully it sets the scene. Reviews please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi guys! I was happy with the response I got from chapter 1, so I'm brought back to you with a longer second chapter now:**

"Sophie!" Tessa knocked on her roommate's bedroom door. "I'm heading out for a walk."

There was no answer.

"Sophie!"

The door opened, and Tessa found herself face-to-face with a sandy-haired, muscular young man wearing nothing but pyjama bottoms.

"Whoa!" Tessa averted her eyes, although nothing vital had been exposed. "Gideon! Didn't know you were here."

"Oh, hi, Tessa," Gideon said, a tone of surprise in his voice.

"Move it, you big buffoon." Sophie Collins, Tessa's roommate, elbowed her way past her boyfriend and faced Tessa. "Hi, Tessa. You going out?"

"Yup," Tessa said, trying not to look at how Sophie was wearing just a pair of underpants and Gideon's button-down shirt, which was way too big for her.

"Okay. See you!" Sophie grinned as Gideon wrapped his bare arms around her waist. "We still on for dinner tonight?"

"You bet," Tessa promised.

"Great!" With one last beam, Sophie shut the door. As Tessa exited the apartment, she heard a giggle coming from Sophie's bedroom, followed by scuffling and a sigh.

**~~Page Break~~**

_Why do people insist that New York is the capital of the world?_ Tessa wondered for the umpteenth time as she entered Hyde Park.

As she strolled between the trees, Tessa pondered the question that she'd already pondered for a long time. London was so much grander than New York – it had layers upon layers of history and culture. Tessa had always been an Anglophile, even growing up in New York, and now that she'd come to London, she felt a sense of belonging that she'd never experienced "back home".

Sitting down on a park bench, Tessa closed her eyes and turned her face upwards, enjoying the sun. England was in the midst of a moderate heat wave – Tessa welcomed the sunny, warm weather as opposed to the stereotypical dreary rain she'd heard so much about. The rays of the sun warmed her face.

"Well, fancy meeting you here."

A smile was already tugging at Tessa's lips by the time she opened her eyes to face the arrogant drawl.

William Herondale stood before her, his hands in his jeans pockets, a half-smirk on his face. The pose suited him well, and clearly the other women in the park agreed – the looks of admiration they shot Will were not lost on Tessa.

"Enjoying the weather, are we?" he asked.

"We are indeed," Tessa responded, mimicking a British accent. Will winced.

"Don't ever do that again," he declared, sitting down beside her on the park bench. "You may just have insulted all of Great Britain."

"I'd like to see you do better," Tessa retorted.

Will snorted.

For a moment, there was a comfortable silence.

"What brings you to London?" Will finally asked. "You didn't tell us last time we met."

"I'm writing a novel," Tessa replied.

"You're an author?"

"It's my first novel," Tessa explained. "I wanted to set it in England."

"But why book-writing, of all professions?" Will seemed genuinely curious, so Tessa deigned to answer him.

"I used to work at a small family-owned bookstore back in New York. I grew up in an apartment above the bookstore, and learned to love books there. I used to love reading books and even selling them, and really anything to do with them – until one day I realized I wanted to _write_ them as well."

Will gazed at her, his blue eyes glittering with something undefinable. "Interesting," was all he said.

"What about you?" Tessa wanted to know. "Have you always lived in London?"

"God no. I'm from Wales. My family is still there."

"Wales!"

"Not whales," Will said slowly, as if speaking to a child. "W-A-L-E-S. It's next to England."

"I'm not stupid," Tessa said, flushing. "Why'd you come to London, then?"

"I had my reasons."

"Wouldn't you much rather live in Wales, though? I've heard it's beautiful. I did a bit of research into the UK before I came here, and Wales seems lovely. Is it true there's a lot of greenery there? Do you speak Welsh yourself?"

Will held up his hands. "Do you always ask so many questions?"

Tessa blushed. "My brother always said curiosity was my besetting sin."

Will shrugged. "Wales is beautiful, but like I said, I had my reasons for leaving. And yes, I do speak Welsh."

"Say something in Welsh."

Raising an eyebrow, Will spoke. "_Eich bod yn ddiddorol_."

"What does that mean?"

"It means 'Nice weather we're having'." Will got up and stretched. "Come and walk with me. We can explore Hyde Park."

Tessa got up and walked with him around the park. As they strolled, Tessa was aware she was attracting a lot of jealous stares from women, on the grass and the paths. She tried her best to ignore them.

"There's something that sets you apart from British girls," Will remarked as he looked at Tessa.

"Oh? What's that?"

"Something about the way you hold yourself screams _Foreigner_."

"Why, thank you very much. I'm new to this country, you know."

"I know." Will stopped, and looked up. "I take back what I said earlier. It isn't that great weather we're having."

Tessa saw that he was right – clouds were beginning to gather in the sky, and it looked like it was going to rain soon. Around her, people were recognizing the signs of impending rain and hurrying out of the park.

"I'd better go," she said. "I have laundry to do anyway."

"Wait." Will pulled out his cell phone. "Give me your number."

There was no question in the way he said it, Tessa noted as she took out her own cell phone. They exchanged numbers, and then Tessa turned and hopped on board a double-decker bus, pulled out her iPod and placed her earphones in her ears.

She had no way of knowing how Will's eyes followed the bus until it vanished out of sight around the corner.

**To any Welsh speakers reading this story, I do apologize for any grammatical errors as I don't speak Welsh myself. To those readers who don't speak Welsh, please don't go to Google Translate, as I plan on coming back to this one Welsh sentence.  
****Apart from that, please review and let me know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! **

"Table for two, please."

Sophie giggled as she sat down at the table. "I love Italian food! I haven't eaten it in ages."

Tessa waved her hand. "Just wait till you try Italian food in New York. There're a lot of things I like about London more than I like about New York, but Italian food's not one of them."

"I've never been to the United States," Sophie said wistfully as she flipped open her menu.

"I'll take you sometime," Tessa promised.

The two of them ordered their pastas, and then settled down for a good, long chat.

Tessa liked Sophie. Sophie was the reason she was in London, actually. Tessa hadn't been able to afford to rent an apartment on her own, so she'd put out an advertisement for a roommate. No one had answered, and Tessa was about to give up all hope of ever moving to England when Sophie suddenly popped up. Even on the phone, they'd hit it off immediately, and just a month later they met for the first time and moved into the same apartment – sorry, flat.

And they'd been living together for two months now.

"I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to show you London the way I promised," Sophie apologized. "It's just I've been busy and – "

"No, no, it's cool," Tessa interrupted. "I've been getting to know London myself. I think I need to explore the city myself and become familiar with it before I can even think about writing a novel set here."

"Well, good," Sophie beamed. "Have you discovered anything?"

Tessa didn't even have to think. "The Institute Bookstore."

Sophie nodded enthusiastically. "I know that place! I used to go there all the time. I don't often find the time to go there now, but I do love going there when I can."

Tessa thought about her next question carefully, but decided to ask it anyway. "Soph, have you ever come across a couple of boys at the Institute Bookstore?"

Sophie raised an eyebrow. "Yes. Plenty, in fact."

"Have you ever met William Herondale and Jem – " Tessa paused as she realized she didn't know Jem's last name.

"Jem Carstairs," Sophie supplied. "Yes, I do know them. I have met them. Why do you ask?"

Tessa noted that Sophie's expression had become somewhat more guarded. "Well, I just wanted to know what you thought of them. I've met them myself and they seem nice."

"Jem _is_ nice," Sophie confirmed. "In fact, he's one of the nicest guys I've ever met." She smiled, and leaned forward. "I'll admit," she whispered conspiratorially, "that I used to have a crush on him." Sitting back in her seat, she beamed at Tessa. "But that was too long ago, and now I have Gideon."

"And what about Will?"

Sophie's smile faded. "He isn't nearly as nice," she said, a touch of venom in her voice.

Tessa blinked at the sudden change in countenance. "What do you mean?"

"He's the sort of boy mothers warn their little daughters about," Sophie continued, leaning forward. "I'm your friend, and you've asked me to give you my opinion. Well, this is it."

"Okay," said Tessa, still a little befuddled.

"Will Herondale is trouble, Tessa. Everyone in this area knows who he is, and what he does. He spends every night at some girl's apartment, each one different. He never stays at the same girl's place twice. Because of the way he looks, he always gets what he wants, but he can never get enough from any girl."

Tessa looked down. "He didn't seem that way to me."

"Maybe not. But he hasn't got you yet, has he? Just wait, Tessa. He'll reveal his true colours soon enough."

Sophie fiddled with her thumbs, then said, "You know how poisonous frogs in the rainforest are the most beautiful? The prettier it is to look at, the deadlier its poison. Will Herondale is exactly like that. Don't go near him, Tessa – for your own sake."

Tessa nodded, and Sophie's smile returned. "Now – let's talk about happier things."

**~~Page Break~~**

Tessa stepped into her bedroom and gladly changed into her pyjamas. No sooner had she done so when her cell phone buzzed.

_Will Herondale_.

Despite what she'd heard from Sophie earlier, Tessa picked up her phone.

_Hey, Tessa. Wanna head out to dinner tomorrow?_

Tessa paused. She knew she should just ignore the text, or at least make up some excuse why she couldn't go. But Tessa was an impulsive girl. She wouldn't be in London if she hadn't been impulsive. So her fingers tapped out a reply.

_Six o'clock, Harrods?_

The reply came seconds later:

_Sounds good, but make it six thirty. It isn't effortless, you know, being this beautiful. See you then_.

Tessa smiled at the reply.

It was just dinner, wasn't it? Maybe this would allow her to see Will's "true colours", as Sophie had put it. The question was: was this a date?

Was Will Herondale asking her out on a date?

Confusion bubbled through Tessa's mind, and she shook her head. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. Did she care?

Probably, to be honest.

To clear her mind, Tessa sat down at her desk with her laptop and opened up a Word document. She thought for a moment, and then typed out the first few words of her first novel:

_The Subtle Bookstore_.

**I wanted Sophie to warn Tessa off Will in this story just as she did in the book. Hope you like this chapter! Please leave me a review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Sorry for not updating in a while - but I'm here now!**

Knightsbridge Station wasn't large, but it took Tessa a while to find the right exit to get to Harrods all the same.

She did find it, though, and hurried out to stand in front of the main entrance.

She checked her watch – she wasn't late. Good. She hated being late.

The minutes ticked by, and Tessa waited outside Harrods. Six thirty came, and Tessa looked around.

No sign of Will anywhere.

Six thirty-five. Six forty. Just as Tessa was about to give up and head back into the station, Will appeared at six forty-two.

"Sorry I'm late," he said by way of greeting. "I took a bus, and traffic was a bitch."

Tessa smiled. "It's okay," she said. "I don't mind."

They stood for a moment, and then Tessa gestured at Harrods. "Do you want to go in?"

"No, no. We won't be eating inside Harrods tonight. There's a far better restaurant around the corner."

Tessa raised her eyebrows as Will led her away. "If you say so."

**~~Page Break~~**

"This _is_ a far better restaurant," Tessa exclaimed as she wiped her mouth.

It was a small Italian restaurant right next to Harrods, with outdoor seating – a very European thing to do. Will and Tessa were seated on the sidewalk, watching London go by.

"I told you that you wouldn't be disappointed," Will chuckled.

"I take back what I said to Sophie earlier today about Italian food in New York being better than in London," Tessa announced. "I will go home and tell her that Italian food here is just as good as across the pond."

"I'm glad we've managed to live up to your high standards," Will responded, raising an eyebrow.

Tessa sighed. They lapsed into comfortable silence.

"Should we pay?" Tessa asked.

"Oh, right. Of course."

They paid, and then they were on their way. They strolled around Knightsbridge, enjoying the city at dusk.

"You're so far from home," Will said to Tessa. "You don't miss it at all?"

"No, I don't," Tessa responded. "I love London."

"That's what you said last time I saw you, in Hyde Park."

"Yeah? Well, it's the truth."

Will thought for a second. "I don't believe you. You must miss New York. You can't grow up in a place and then not miss it when you move to a country on the other side of the ocean."

Tessa raised her eyebrows.

"Am I right?"

Tessa sighed. "Well, okay. I have mixed feelings about New York."

"And why is that, Miss Gray?"

"I love the city. It's a part of me. I love London, too, but you're right – New York is deeply ingrained in who I am. But the reason I have mixed feelings about New York isn't because of the city itself – it's because of the people I left behind."

Will was silent. Then, "Oh," he said.

"My aunt Harriet recently passed away. She raised me, and it was a horrible blow."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yes, well, she was getting on in years, you know, and she'd accepted her imminent death. She died in her sleep, so it wasn't the worst way to go. Anyway, I told you that I was working at a family-owned bookstore, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, we owned the place, and it was a steady flow of income, I suppose, but I was getting really, really bored. I wanted to write books, but I felt trapped. I didn't think I could write a book in a Brooklyn bookstore. I wasn't inspired. I even started to hate the bookstore – to me, the responsibility of running it was the obstacle that was preventing me from pursuing my dreams. It was effectively my prison, if you can imagine that. I didn't think I'd ever say that about a bookstore, but there I just did." Tessa sighed. "Eventually, I was on the verge of giving up the idea of ever becoming an author. Then, my brother returned to New York."

"You have a brother?"

"I do indeed. His name's Nate. He'd been away for years in Las Vegas, gambling away his money. Anyway, he came back to ask me for more. I told him he had to get his priorities straight and get his life in shape. And I gave up my job at the bookstore for him."

"What?"

"Yes. I gave up running the bookstore. I was liberated at last and free to make plans to leave New York. And I came to London."

"So that's why you came to London."

"My brother hated me for it. He hated me for forcing him to run the bookstore when he'd much rather be in Vegas ruining himself. I told him it was for his own good, but he called me a self-righteous bitch." Tessa looked down. "That was my last day in New York. The next day, I left for London. I haven't been back home since, and I haven't talked to Nate since."

Will was silent. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah," Tessa sighed. "I'm estranged from the only living family member I have left."

By now, the sun had set on London, and the only illumination in the streets came from streetlamps. For a few moments, the two of them were silent.

"What's your story?" Tessa asked Will.

"My story?"

"Yes, your story. Why you left Wales. Who you left behind."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Come on," Tessa said laughingly. "I just opened up to you about the circumstances about why I left New York. Come on, tell me your story."

Will shook his head. "No."

Tessa didn't notice the tight set of his jaw – after all, curiosity was her besetting sin.

"Okay, then I'll try to guess it. Let's see – you have siblings."

Will was quiet.

"Sisters?"

No response.

"And your parents are – "

Will turned on her. "I don't have sisters," he practically hissed. "And I'll thank you not to inquire into my private life after I explicitly state I don't want to have it pried into." He ran his fingers through his hair. "Bye, Tessa," he said gruffly, and he turned. Tessa tried to follow, but he had already disappeared in the thickening shadows of the London evening.

**I wanted Tessa to have some history. Also, the part in Clockwork Princess where Will just leaves Tessa hanging - I don't know, it was a powerful moment for me. Anyway, please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hiya! Sorry for not updating in a while, but I'm back now:**

The bell above the door tinkled softly.

Tessa stepped into the Institute Bookstore. Closing her eyes, she inhaled the scent of paper, and sighed in satisfaction.

After Will had left her standing awkwardly on the streets of Knightsbridge, she'd had to make her own way home. She hadn't told Sophie about their dinner – she didn't need Sophie saying "I told you so". She also wasn't surprised when Will didn't call or text or attempt to make contact with her whatsoever. That was exactly what she had expected to happen.

A few days had passed, and Tessa had made progress on her novel. It was coming along surprisingly well now. Of course, the fact that Tessa had used many autobiographical elements in writing it was totally irrelevant.

Now, she ran her hands over the bookshelves.

"Hi, Tessa."

Jem stood at the end of the bookshelf, with a soft smile on his face. The ceiling light shone directly down on him, and his silvery hair shone. "I haven't seen you in a while."

"Likewise," Tessa responded, smiling. "How've you been keeping?"

"I'm doing well, thank you." Jem dipped his head. "I wasn't expecting anyone to come in here."

"Why not?"

"Well, it's a quiet bookstore. A friend of mine, Charlotte Fairchild, runs it, but she's not in town today, so I'm helping her man the bookstore."

Tessa smiled. "That's nice of you. I'm back here because – well, I don't know where else to go. I don't know London well enough yet."

"It's hard adjusting to a new home," Jem said sympathetically. "I know exactly what you mean."

"You're not originally from London?"

"Try Shanghai."

"Shanghai!"

"Yup. My mother was Chinese, my father British. They were killed in a car accident when I was twelve. That's when I came to England to be raised by my uncle." Jem smiled shyly. "I've been here ever since."

"And I thought I was exotic," Tessa muttered, and Jem laughed. "Do you ever miss Shanghai?"

Jem nodded. "It's my hometown. The culture, the food, the energy – it's all completely different from here."

"And is that a good or bad thing?"

"London is a beautiful city," Jem responded. "I've learned to love it. I can show you how to love it too."

Tessa grinned. "We should hang out sometime."

"That was what I was suggesting," Jem said.

Tessa laughed as Jem pulled out his phone. They exchanged phone numbers, and Jem tucked his phone back into his pocket. Tessa noticed that he used a brand of smartphone she'd never seen before.

"I should probably get back to work," Jem said with a shy smile. "There's a lot of cataloguing to do."

"Of course." Tessa backed towards the exit. "I'll see you around, Jem."

Jem waved goodbye as Tessa stepped out onto the streets again. Tessa didn't know why, but she felt a lot more cheerful than when she'd stepped into the bookstore.

**~~Page Break~~**

Will looked up as Jem stepped into the flat they shared. "What's with the smile on your face?"

"Am I smiling?" Jem inquired as he headed into the bathroom.

"Yeah, you are." Will looked back down at the _Playboy_ magazine he was wearing. "What happened today?"

"Nothing. I just ran the bookstore for Charlotte." Jem stepped back out of the bathroom, now shirtless, only to disappear into his bedroom.

"That doesn't usually put a smile on your face like that. Come on, tell me. What's up?" Will grinned.

Having retrieved a pair of boxers, Jem stepped back into the living room. "Ah, I don't know," he said. "I'm being silly."

"Now I have to know."

Jem hesitated. "Tessa came into the bookstore today."

Will felt his grin waver. "Is that so?"

"Yup." Jem headed back into the bathroom, and Will heard him turn on the shower water. "She seems like a really awesome girl."

The bathroom door closed, and Will let the magazine slide down onto his lap.

Why was he so bothered by this news? It was Jem, for heaven's sake. He loved Jem, like the brother he'd never had. Jem was his other half – they'd both come to London, alone and friendless, both twelve years old. They met each other in the Institute Bookstore when they both reached for the same book. They'd never been apart since that day.

And what did Tessa mean to Will, anyway? They'd met two or three times. Nothing major. Will had kind of blown her off when she asked about his family, though.

Will clenched his fists. She'd learn not to ask about his family.

Pulling out his phone, he clicked on the Contacts page and scrolled down to Tessa's name. His thumb wavered over it for a few seconds.

The bathroom door opened, and Will quickly put his phone down.

Jem, wrapped in just a towel, peered out from the steamy bathroom. "Do you know where the new bottle of shampoo is?"

"Open the closet, to the left," Will responded. Jem nodded and disappeared back into the bathroom.

Will slowly placed his phone back in his pocket, and then resumed reading the magazine. He didn't touch his phone for the rest of the evening.

**Reviews please!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone! Sorry for not updating in almost three weeks - school has kept me really busy. But, recent events in Hong Kong mean that I've had a couple free days from school, which gave me time to write this:**

The novel was finally starting to take shape. Satisfied with what she'd done so far, Tessa sat back. After a few weeks of deliberation, she'd finally chosen a name for the heroine of her book: Alba. It wasn't a very conventional name, but Tessa had looked it up, and it meant _dawn_ in Spanish and Italian, apparently. Tessa liked that.

She got up and stretched, then ambled to the fridge for a drink. That was when her phone vibrated.

A text from Will.

_Hey, Tess. Wanna hang out?_

Will hadn't made any sort of contact with her since the day he'd left her standing in Knightsbridge. That had been one and a half weeks ago now. Tessa was extremely temped to leave the text message and let it go unseen. But that wasn't really in her nature.

_Now?!_

_Yes, now_, Will responded. _There's no time like the present_.

_I'm busy with my novel. I can't_.

_Great, so eight o'clock, yeah? See you at the Institute_.

Tessa snorted as she poured herself a glass of milk.

_It would be really funny_, she thought to herself as she headed back into her room, _if I just stood Will up tonight, and didn't show up. That would be funny to witness_.

This she thought as she sat down at her laptop again and resumed work on her book. At seven thirty, she got up and dressed. At seven forty-five, she left the apartment, and by seven fifty-five she was waiting outside the Institute.

This time, Will wasn't late. He showed up at eight o'clock on the dot.

"Good evening, Miss Gray," he declared as he bowed to her in typical British fashion. "Might I interest you in a fun evening?"

"You may," Tessa replied, extending her arm for him to take. Will took it and they swept away in the manner of an upper-class Victorian couple.

**~~Page Break~~**

All through dinner, Tessa made no reference to their last meeting and the abrupt way Will had left her – she had a feeling he wouldn't have thanked her for it.

"How was your linguine?" Will asked as the waiter took the plate away.

"It was very nice, thank you," Tessa sighed, sitting back. "And now I feel like a whale."

Will snorted. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't say that sort of thing. I don't like it when girls say they're fat or that they're whales or something. I don't like it when they can't see how beautiful they really are."

Tessa dipped her head. Had Will just called her beautiful? Despite her best efforts, she felt a blush seeping through and colouring her cheeks red.

"Anyway," Will went on, "let's take a walk."

"Okay."

So they got the check and paid for it, and left.

Tessa would never cease to admire London's beauty. As they walked past Marble Arch, she commented to Will, "How do you suppose the Victorians built structures like this?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's not like they had bulldozers or computers or anything, really, to help them. I don't even know if they had proper blueprints. How did they manage it?"

Will shrugged. "They were probably just some very determined bastards."

"That's an odd way of putting it."

Will chuckled. "Or maybe they just had something worth building for."

Tessa let herself think about that for a minute before agreeing, "There is that."

They walked into Hyde Park and strolled under the trees.

"Central Park isn't like this, you know," Tessa told Will. "It's got trees, and it's bigger, but – I don't know, it's not the same."

"You still missing New York?"

"I never really missed New York to begin with," Tessa reminded him. "Why would I miss New York when there's London to explore?"

They walked in silence for a little while. Tessa noticed that the trees were getting thicker here, and there weren't as many people on the paths.

Over by a cluster of trees and shrubs, a group of young men stood and laughed. Clearly, they were drunk, judging by the way they sauntered around in circles and hiccupped. As Tessa and Will drew closer, one of them spotted Tessa.

"Hey, pretty lady!" he called, leering at Tessa. "Ditch black hair and come have a drink with us!"

"Ignore them," Tessa whispered to Will, who had tensed. "They mean nothing by it."

"Come over here, darling!" the same man called. His buddies had all noticed by now and were watching with interest. The man broke away from his friends and came towards Will and Tessa.

"Go away," Tessa called to him as he drew closer. "You're not welcome."

"American!" the drunk exclaimed, slurring his words. "Well, I've never screwed an American before. Care to come to town on my Yankee Doodle Dandy?"

Will told the man to do something rather ungentlemanly, and the man's eyebrows shut up.

"Black hair's got attitude!"

Tessa watched with increasing unease as Will squared off to this challenger.

"I don't like it when cowards harass women," Will said quietly.

"And what're you going to do about it?" the man laughed, still slurring his words. He put up his hands. "Come on, big boy."

Will regarded him impassively. Then he swung back his fist and socked the man beautifully in the nose.

Tessa's hands flew up to her face. "Will!"

The harasser was holding his nose. Will followed up by punching him the eye. The man groaned, and stumbled backwards.

"Will, let's go," Tessa pleaded when she saw that his friends had stopped laughing and were now approaching. "We can't win this."

Will looked up and saw the approaching group of drunken hooligans, and nodded. "Let's go."

Once they were safely out of Hyde Park and had left the drunks far behind them, Will looked at Tessa. "Are you okay?"

Tessa gaped. "Am I okay? I should be asking you that question! Will, what were you thinking?"

Will shrugged. "They were insulting you."

"You didn't have to do that for me!"

"Yes I did. I don't like it when people insult my girlfriend."

Tessa was brought up short. _Girlfriend_? Her heart started beating about ten times faster.

Will glanced at his watch, and winced. "It's pretty late – I have to go, Tess."

"Okay," Tessa said numbly.

Will looked at her shell-shocked expression and grinned. "Hey. I'll see you later, okay?" Then he leaned down and kissed her cheek. With that, he straightened up, turned and left.

Tessa's hand found its way her to her cheek, and she held the spot where he had kissed her. The edges of her mouth twitched upwards in a goofy grin. Then, she, too, turned, and made her way home, humming softly under her breath.

**I must've rewritten this chapter ten million times, but I was never satisfied with it. Ultimately, this is the version that made me happiest. What did you guys think? Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm so sorry I haven't updated in over two months! But anyway, here's the new chapter:**

Will hummed as he made breakfast for himself and Jem. "Breakfast is almost ready!" he called to Jem.

"Okay," came Jem's muffled voice from inside his bedroom. He was probably just waking up. To be fair, Will would probably just be waking up around this time, too, if he hadn't had somewhere to go.

With Tessa, obviously.

Will grinned to himself as he fried the eggs. He hadn't known what had possessed him to call her his girlfriend that second date – was it a date? – but she hadn't protested. She hadn't protested when he'd kissed her cheek, either.

His grin faded as he pondered the idea of Tessa. Since that dinner – three weeks ago, now – they had met up a few times, talked on the phone, gotten to know one another. They were alike in so many ways. Like Will, Tessa lived, breathed and devoured books. She felt what the characters felt, wanted what they wanted, dreamed what they dreamed. Perhaps that was why he felt so drawn to her.

But why now? He hadn't felt anything like this since he'd left Wales. That was a painful memory – still too painful to discuss. There had been Jem, of course. Jem was probably the only thing that had kept him sane during these lonely years in London by himself. But no person had come so close to Will in such a short time – he hadn't allowed them to. So what was happening now?

It was something about Tessa, that was for sure. Will knew himself. He wouldn't just let anyone in past his shield. The problem was, he wasn't entirely sure what it was about Tessa that had fractured the shell he had created – the protective walls that he had erected after leaving Wales. Maybe it was something he sensed about her. Maybe it was just that he yearned to be properly liked by someone aside from Jem.

Either way, Tessa's life and his were starting to intertwine, and he didn't know why. But he felt he couldn't resist it, any more than he could resist the sun rising each day. It was going to happen, whether or not he wanted it to. All he could do was watch what happened.

His thoughts were interrupted by Jem stumbling out of his bedroom, yawning and dressed in just a pair of pyjama bottoms. "Good morning," he murmured.

"I can smell your morning breath from here," Will teased. Jem responded by making a face at him and wandering into the bathroom.

The doorbell rang just as Will placed three plates, each with an egg on it, on the dining table. Jem ambled out of the bathroom, looking decidedly more awake, although he still had a cowlick and was still only half-dressed. "I'll get it," he volunteered, making for the door.

"Um – " Will began, but Jem had already opened the door. Tessa stood outside it, blinking in surprise.

There was an awkward pause.

"Tessa!" Jem said. "I wasn't expecting you." He glanced at Will, his eyes questioning.

"Which is why you're perfectly within your rights to be half-naked," Will said, stepping forward. "Sorry, I may have forgotten to mention it."

Jem mock-glared at him. "Excuse me while I dress." He returned to his bedroom and shut the door behind him.

Tessa raised her eyebrows at Will. "You could've warned him."

"But think how entertaining that was just now," Will replied. Tessa snorted as she stepped into the flat and the door swung closed.

"Have a seat, and enjoy my gourmet cooking," Will said proudly as Jem emerged, wearing a shirt and with his hair combed. The three of them sat down to breakfast.

"What brings you to our humble abode, Tessa?" Jem inquired. "Have you an unresolved conflict with William?"

"I should hope not," Will muttered.

"Herondale here asked me to join you for breakfast," Tessa responded. "Afterwards, we're going to the London Library. He claims that there are books there that will make my little American brain whirl."

Jem raised his eyebrows at Will. "Really?"

"And so there are," Will declared. "Eat up, Tessa. James, would you care to join us?"

"Kind of you to ask, but not today, I fear. I have a bookstore to man."

"Charlotte really needs to get on top of her own shop," Will muttered under his breath, before turning back to Tessa. "Well, then. Are we ready?"

Tessa nodded. "We are."

"Okay, then." Will crossed the flat and opened the door for Tessa. "Let's go."

"Have fun," Jem called from the table as the two of them left.

"Will, why all the hurry?" Tessa exclaimed as they hurried out of the door.

"There are a lot of books I'd love to show you, and I want to beat the crowds."

"It's unlikely to be crowded. It's barely nine o'clock."

"Hush, mockingbird. I have a wonderful day planned."

"Mockingbird?!" Tessa's indignant laugh rang out as the elevator doors slid open, and the two of them stepped inside.

**~~ Page Break ~~**

Jem's smile faded as Will and Tessa headed out the door, and he slumped in his seat. He put his head in his hands.

He hadn't known what to expect, but he had seen something in Tessa that he'd never seen in any other girl. He had found himself perking up whenever she'd texted him, laughing at what she said, wondering when they could hang out.

It seemed that that was not meant to be, for Will, too, had seen in Tessa what he had.

Jem could not take Tessa away from Will. Will had been too unhappy for too long. If Tessa could make Will happy, Jem would not touch her. He loved Will too much for that.

Even, he thought, if it meant spending a lot more time alone. He slowly got up and made his way back to his bedroom.

**I've had writer's block and I've been really busy, so I thought to discontinue this story. But having read back on it, I realize that I don't want to discontinue this story. What do you think? Reviews please! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everyone! **

"Tessa, there's someone at the door for you," Sophie called. Tessa could practically smell the disapproval in her voice.

She came out of her bedroom and trotted over to where Sophie stood with the front door open. Will stood waiting outside.

"Thanks, Soph," she said awkwardly.

Sophie raised an eyebrow at her. Tessa knew that she still didn't trust Will as far as the door, and that she only just tolerated him for Tessa's sake. And for that, Tessa loved her.

"I'll see you later tonight." She kissed Sophie's cheek. "We're going to watch _Pretty Little Liars_ all night long."

Sophie's face melted into a grin as she shut the door, and Tessa was left with Will.

"American television," he remarked with a huff. "Why would you watch American television when there's so much British TV out there?"

"Because American shows can be good too," Tessa replied. "Equality for Americans."

Will snorted.

"Where are we going tonight?" Tessa inquired.

"We're going to a nightclub," Will announced. "It's new and already one of the most infamous in London."

"Oh, I don't know about nightclubs," Tessa grimaced. "They're not really my thing."

"Ah, don't worry. They're my thing. And that means they're your thing too."

"What kind of logic is that?"

"Oh, just get in the taxi and let's go."

**~~ Page Break ~~**

"I can barely hear what you're saying!" Tessa hollered at Will. "The music's way too loud!"

Will laughed. "Do you want to sit down for a little bit?"

"That would be great," Tessa agreed.

Will skilfully manoeuvred them to one side, and had Tessa sit at the bar. They ordered a couple of drinks, and then settled into conversation.

"Why did you choose this nightclub?" Tessa asked.

Will shrugged. "Why not? Shake things up a bit, you know. I bet the party life in New York is even better than here."

"I wouldn't know. I don't go partying."

Will cocked his head. "You'd rather stay home?"

"And read, yes, I would," Tessa agreed.

"You and I are very alike."

This sudden statement startled Tessa. "What was that?"

"We share the same love for books. We live them and breathe them, Tessa, you and me. I think that's why I was drawn to you."

Tessa had no idea what to say at all, so she said the first thing that came into her mind. "I haven't found anyone who loves books the way I do, either. Most of my friends spend their time online, doing stuff I don't care for. And they've never really understood my love for books. But you're different."

Will regarded her with those blue, blue eyes. "_Eich bod yn ddiddorol_."

It was the same Welsh sentence he'd spoken to her that day in Hyde Park. Tessa raised her eyebrows. "You commenting on the weather again?"

Will shook his head. "I was lying that time when I told you what it meant," he said easily.

"Oh? Then what does it mean?"

"It means, 'You're beautiful'," Will translated.

Tessa was suddenly aware of how her hair was falling unattractively over her face, stuck to her cheeks by sweat. She smoothed down her clothes and mustered a smile. "That seems to me a great misfortune, sir," she responded in an upper-class tone, "as I sincerely doubt I am at the pinnacle of my beauty after several hours in a nightclub."

Will shook his head. "I'm being serious," he told her. "You're beautiful. And I want to kiss you now."

Tessa let out a little squeak as he closed in, and then his mouth met hers.

On the one hand, it felt so natural, like walking, breathing, blinking – something her body was meant to do. On the other, it felt like drowning, being sucked into a whirlpool and struggling for breath. And still, it felt like she was on a platform, zooming up higher and higher into the sky.

Probably nobody noticed the two young adults kissing passionately at the bar. But for those two young adults, the entire world was just the two of them.

**I thought I'd better update again for Christmas. Have a very merry Christmas, all of you, and God bless us, every one!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey everyone!**

"You seem down," Will commented as he sat down next to Tessa on her bed. "What's wrong?"

Tessa looked at him out of the corner of her eye. He was dressed in just a black T-shirt and black jeans – all very dark, but it just made his skin all the more startlingly pale, which contrasted with his jet-black hair. He held out a cup of coffee to her, and she accepted.

"Nothing," she sighed. "It's just, I got this letter." She held it out to him.

"Who's it from?" he inquired, taking the letter.

"Read it."

Will obliged, and Tessa watched him as he did so. She already knew what he was reading: a furious, angry letter from her brother in New York.

She'd sent him a postcard from London in an attempt to mend the broken relationship between them a few weeks ago. He'd just sent it back, and the letter accompanying it stung Tessa to the core.

_You know what your problem is, Tessie? You're too high-and-mighty. Couldn't stand the prospect of working a bookstore, so the minute your brother comes home, you throw away your responsibilities and escape. You've trapped me in the existence you never wanted for yourself, because you're too good for me. And you call yourself a good sister_.

Tessa knew it was stupid to let herself feel this way, but she couldn't help it – Nate was still her brother, even if he was on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. Everything he said to her hurt. And she couldn't help feeling that he was right – that she had abandoned him to a life she'd never wanted, and run away to romantic London, and was enjoying herself while he toiled.

Will finished reading the letter, his mouth set in a hard line. He handed it back to her. "He has no right to talk to you like that," he said.

"Hasn't he?" Tessa said softly. "He's displaying some remarkable insight. He's right – I never wanted to be a bookstore owner. Never wanted to be a shopkeeper. But it was my responsibility. What right do I have to thrust it onto my brother's shoulders?"

Will looked at her. "From what you've told me, Nate needed a chance like this. Doesn't deserve it, from what I can tell, but definitely needed it. What other option did he have? Vegas?"

Tessa stayed silent.

"He would've ruined himself in Vegas, Tessa. You gave him a chance to earn a stable income. If he doesn't appreciate that, it's not your fault."

"I can't go back to New York," Tessa said softly. "If I do, he'll take off immediately and I'll be saddled with the bookstore again. I can't do that."

Will's gaze softened. "You were good to him, Tessa. And in time, he will realize what you did for him, and he will respect and love you for it. Just wait. You won't be separated forever."

Then he cocked his head to one side and took Tessa's hand in his. "And as far as being too good for him goes, I certainly think you are. But you must know that there is no shame in wanting to better yourself. This is the 21st century. If you feel discontented with your position, you are fully capable of changing yourself to your advantage, and fully entitled to aspirations and dreams. I think what you've done in moving away and leaving New York is admirable. In time, Nate will come to realize that too."

Tessa laughed. "When did you get so wise, William Herondale?"

"I always have been."

"You sound as though you have given this sort of talk before," Tessa remarked. "Have you?"

Will was quiet.

"Will – "

"You remind me of myself, sometimes, Tessa," Will suddenly said, very quietly. "But you are better than I am."

Tessa blinked. "I – "

Will stood. "I'm going to go brew myself another cup of tea."

As he left, Tessa sank back onto her bed, still clutching her coffee cup and blinking in confusion. Where had that come from? And what did Will mean?

**Reviews please! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey everyone!**

With difficulty, Tessa forced her eyes to open, and saw that she was in an unfamiliar setting.

Sitting up at once, she glanced around. Where was she? How had she gotten here? She was completely disoriented.

Then, she remembered, and relaxed. She was in Will's bedroom. They'd come here after their date last night, and she must've been really tired and fallen asleep.

Oh, dear. Tessa moaned and put her head in her hands. How was she supposed to explain to Sophie that she had spent the night at Will's but hadn't actually – well – done anything?

There was no sign of Will in the room. Well, his clothes were in the closet, but he wasn't lying beside her, and the space in the bed was cold, too. He'd probably been gone a while. Tessa flopped back onto the pillows and inhaled. It still smelled distinctly of Will. She smiled and hugged the pillow to herself.

_You should really go home and work_, an irritating voice in the back of her head told her.

_Why?_ Tessa asked the voice. Her novel was coming along very well. Her characters had developed just the way she'd hoped they would, and the story was unfolding rapidly before her. Now, it was just a matter of putting pen to paper and simply describing the scenarios that were already playing out behind her closed eyelids.

Nevertheless, Tessa found herself pulling on her boots. She'd slept in her clothes, and they were a bit rumpled, but it was nothing a bit of patting down wouldn't fix. After a cursory glance in the mirror next to Will's door, Tessa decided she looked acceptable and left the bedroom.

Now in the living room, she paused. Where were Will and Jem? They didn't seem to be in the apartment, and she didn't want to up and leave without telling them goodbye. Glancing around, she was about to find a piece of paper when she noticed that one of the doors was ajar.

It wasn't the door to Will's bedroom, nor Jem's. Hoping to catch Will, Tessa knocked lightly at the door. "Will?" she called.

No answer. She pushed the door open, and found herself staring at a smallish room, perfectly ordinary, with a skylight through which sunlight streamed, illuminating the room, and a desk with drawers, and a lamp sitting neatly on it.

Was this Will's desk? Tessa sat at the desk, trying to imagine Will working. She knew that Will and Jem were accountants at the same firm – Will had mentioned it to her once, but work didn't really come into their conversations an awful lot – and that they occasionally made a bit of money helping to run the Institute Bookstore, but she couldn't imagine Will sitting down at a desk and actually working. He seemed to have too much pent-up energy, always raring to get up and go. Smiling and softly shaking her head, Tessa pulled open one of the drawers, expecting to find bundles of paperwork.

Instead, she found herself looking at an empty drawer, empty save for a few photographs.

Tessa should've known better, but curiosity got the better of her. She reached into the drawer and pulled out the photos, and began to browse through them.

The first was a family photo, Will standing with a group of people Tessa immediately knew to be his family. Will's father and mother stood in the background. Will's father was a tall, handsome man, blond-haired and fair-skinned, with a kindly twinkle in his eyes but a determined set to his jaw. His mother was rather petite, with onyx black hair as dark as midnight, just like Will's, tumbling down her shoulders and framing a small, pretty face. She, too, was pale-skinned, and at first glance one might assume that she was delicate, made of porcelain, but with closer examination, one could see a steeliness in her eyes that belied her seemingly delicate appearance.

Will stood in between his parents. He was much younger here – twelve, maybe? He beamed excitedly out at the camera. Here, Tessa frowned. It wasn't that she hadn't known Will to smile, but – here, he seemed so innocent. Carefree. The Will she knew did not smile like that. He smiled seemingly with a much deeper knowledge of the world, a knowledge that had sobered and perhaps saddened him. Tessa frowned as she pondered why. What could've happened?

Flanking Will on both sides were two girls, one shorter, one taller than him. Like him, their hair was as black as night, and it cascaded down their shoulders. Their eyes, too, were cerulean blue. The younger one laughed, her mouth open in a giggle of mirth. Her older sister was more composed, but the quirk to one side of her mouth and her twinkling eyes gave away her amusement.

Tessa was about to examine the other photos when a voice cut through her thoughts: _"What the hell are you doing?"_

Whirling around, Tessa found Will standing in the doorway. His face was pale, drained of colour, and he was staring at the photographs in her hand. With two enormous strides, he snatched the photos from her hands and thrust them into the drawer, slamming it shut and leaning against it. He turned his furious eyes on her.

"I – I just came in here, hoping to find you," Tessa stammered. "I opened one of the drawers, and I just saw them – "

Will remained silent, his blue eyes blazing with fury.

"I'm sorry if I've overstepped my authority," Tessa began. "I've always been far too nosy – "

"In that matter, we are in agreement." Will's voice was cold, harsh. It cut through to Tessa's core, and she winced.

"I don't know what could have possessed you to glance through my private affairs," Will continued, his face terrible and beautiful in its rage, like an avenging angel. "I thought I had made perfectly clear my unwillingness to discuss my family in Wales. Forgive me, but I had been given to understand that you would not pry any further into my past, and that it is common courtesy to respect the privacy and the wishes of another. Perhaps it is different in America, but I think you will find, Tessa, that here in Britain, we have certain behavioural expectations of one another."

Taken aback by his harsh words, Tessa felt herself flush. "Well, I'm sorry, again, for my transgression, and you have my word that it won't happen again – "

"You're right, it won't." Will's voice grew more distant with every word. "Leave, Tessa. It's over."

Tessa blinked. "What?"

"You heard me." Will's eyes were glittering specks of blue ice. "I don't know what I expected from this relationship, but it certainly wasn't this. Go, Tessa."

Tessa put a hand to her heart. "But – "

"Just go."

Suddenly determined not to break down in front of him, Tessa drew herself up. "Very well, then," she declared, and marched out of the room towards the front door. As she opened it, she turned one last time.

"Don't pretend you had no hand in this, Will Herondale," she called. "I opened up to you, about my past, my family, and my worries. You responded by shutting me out. You know everything about me, but I know so little about you. This was not your fault, but it was not wholly mine, either."

Will continued to stare at her, his eyes unmoved.

Tessa left, and made sure to slam the door shut behind her.

**Reviews please!**


	11. Chapter 11

The door to the Institute bookstore clinked open.

Jem looked up from where he was cataloguing books. "Hello?" he called.

Making his way to the front of the bookstore, he found Tessa standing there, looking awkward. A stray strand of hair fell across her forehead, and he found himself wanting to tuck it behind her ear. She wore a grey beanie, appropriate for the cold London weather, and a simple green dress.

"Tessa," he said in surprise. "Hi! I haven't seen you in a few weeks!"

He hadn't seen her since she and Will broke up. Will hadn't explicitly told him, but it didn't take much to notice how Tessa had stopped showing up at their apartment and how Will spent more time in his room now. He was alone a lot of the time, and when he did want to socialize with other human beings he was sullen and angry.

In other words, he had gone back to the way he had been before he met Tessa. Except this time, it seemed worse, because he seemed exhausted and tired.

Tessa nodded and smiled at Jem. She, too, looked weary, Jem noticed. She had dark circles around her eyes and her face was pale and drawn.

"How've you been keeping?" he asked more gently.

Tessa looked around. "Oh, well, you know, fine."

That was enough to tell Jem that she hadn't been fine.

"I've been spending a lot of time on my novel," Tessa continued. "It's coming along nicely now. Every time I sit down in front of my computer, I write more and more and more."

"That's good," Jem said encouragingly. "I have never felt the same way you do about books and literature, but I'm always pleased to hear about someone fulfilling their passion."

Tessa smiled. "I might not fulfill it though. I have to go back to the US eventually."

"Why?" Jem took a step forward.

Tessa shuffled her feet. "My life here isn't exactly free," she confessed. "I'm living on the money I saved up while in New York, and a bit of the money that Aunt Harriet left me when she died."

Jem nodded – Tessa had already told him about her aunt Harriet.

"But while I'm here, I haven't been making any money," Tessa continued. "I've just been writing my book. And that's all good, but I think eventually I'll have to go back to New York."

Jem heard the tone of dread in her voice.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," he said, taking another step forward. "Stay here, in London. You could take on a job."

Tessa fixed her grey eyes on his.

"I know Charlotte's always looking for helpers here at the bookstore," Jem continued. "It doesn't pay a terrible lot, but it'd certainly be enough to live on, especially if you're working here full-time. Will and I do part-time jobs here."

Tessa examined her feet.

"That's awfully kind of you, Jem, but I'm not sure I'd be welcome here."

Jem took a deep breath. At last, they had come to the elephant in the room.

"You can still have civil relations with Will," he said softly. "You don't have to be on bad terms. You can be on speaking terms, and be co-workers here. You needn't be the best of friends."

Tessa stared up at the ceiling.

"And I'll be here," Jem went on. "I'd welcome you to the bookstore. And I know Charlotte would. And if ever Will is unkind, we'd be more than happy to – well – see to it that he isn't."

"I don't want to be a burden," Tessa said. "I don't want to inconvenience you."

"You're not." Instinctively, Jem put out his arm, and rested his hand on her forearm. "I'm helping out a friend."

Tessa's grey eyes widened, and Jem saw once again that vulnerability, that need for a friend, and his heart beat faster.

"If you're sure," she said hesitantly.

"I am." Jem said firmly. "You can speak with Charlotte whenever you'd like. And I'll come with you. And then you can stay in London."

Tessa grinned, and in that moment her dark eye circles disappeared. All traces of her sadness were gone, and she was the happy, cheerful girl that Jem had seen so much of.

"Yes," she said softly. "I can stay in London."

"There's so much to stay for, after all," Jem went on. "Piccadilly Circus beats Times Square any day."

Tessa laughed. "Yes," she agreed. "It seems I do have quite a lot to stay for."

Jem grinned at her. Then he plucked up his courage.

"Would you care to have dinner with me tonight, Tessa?"

Immediately he felt the heat of the blood rushing into his cheeks, and he cursed himself. But if Tessa saw him flush, she did not evince it, and instead smiled at him happily.

"I'd love to, Jem." She glanced at her watch, and sighed. "But now, I'm afraid I really must go. I stopped by the bookstore on my way to get some groceries for Sophie – I really should run."

"I'll text you," Jem promised as she stepped out.

He retreated once more to cataloguing the books of the bookstore. But anyone who saw him would've noted a spring in his step and a sideways smirk on his face. And as he finished his shift and stepped out onto the London streets, he began to whistle.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys! **

The London Underground was efficient, and Tessa arrived at the restaurant Jem had picked with plenty of time to spare.

Jem was already there, and sitting at the table. "Hi," he greeted her, rising as she arrived at the table. It seemed chivalry was far from dead.

She had chosen to wear just a simple dark blue T-shirt and a knee-length skirt. He was wearing a dark blue dress shirt and a pair of dark jeans, and Tessa had to say, he was pulling it off _really well_. She quickly silenced her irritating heart.

It didn't take long for them to open their menus and order, and pretty soon they found themselves just looking at each other.

"I'm happy you agreed to come to dinner tonight," Jem offered. "I wasn't sure you would."

Tessa cocked her head. "Why ever not? You're my friend, Jem. I'd be glad to see you anytime."

Jem laughed and bit his lip. "I was afraid that you would associate me with Will," he admitted, glancing down.

Oh. Tessa looked down at her lap.

"Forgive me," Jem apologized at once when he saw her gazing downwards. He reached out and touched her shoulder. Looking up, Tessa met his eyes – they were brimming with concern and self-rebuke. "Forgive me and my impetuous mouth. I should have known better."

"It's all right," Tessa reassured him. "I've come to terms with it, anyhow. I must do at some point, right?" She laughed, somewhat unconvincingly.

Jem didn't appear fooled. He reached over again and took her hand in his. Tessa started at the physical contact, but relaxed. Jem's face was open like a book – she could read the sincerity easily. There were no ulterior motives here, just a desire to comfort. Tessa began to realize just how good Jem was.

"You must not let what Will says bother you," Jem said gently. "He is rude and callous to all he meets. It is his cardinal sin. That you were exempt from this rule for so long, Tessa – it is a triumph."

"I suppose so," Tessa whispered.

"Will seems not to know what is best for him." Jem withdrew his hand, and sat straighter. His eyes were burning now, but not exactly with anger – Tessa could not identify his emotion. "I first met him after he first moved to London. We were 18 – he had just come from Wales, and I had already been living in London for some years. We went to the same university, and completely by chance, I sat next to him one class." Jem cocked his head to one side, as if pondering his own memories. "I sought to befriend him, and would not let him push me away. I think, eventually, he gave up, and that is how we became friends."

"You mean, he tried to push you away?"

"Yes." Jem nodded. "It is invariably how he treats all new acquaintances. With one exception." He inclined his head towards Tessa, and she found herself blushing.

"Most people would label him as a nasty person, and avoid him like the plague," Jem continued. "I instead made myself a promise: I would become his friend, or die trying."

"Well, you succeeded," Tessa laughed, and Jem laughed too. "But why did you do it?"

Jem's gaze turned thoughtful. "I think it was because I sensed something about him," he concluded. "I detected a wall he had erected to protect himself against God knows what. And to my knowledge, that wall remains standing today, serving as a deterrent for all who might otherwise approach it."

"But why did he erect that wall?" Tessa asked.

Jem shook his head. "Your guess is as good as mine. I do not know what could have possibly necessitated a protective shield such as the one he has created – in my experience, such barriers only serve to hurt all who are involved. But I think the reason why I was let in through that wall is precisely because I never inquired as to its origins." He gazed at Tessa. "If there is one thing Will cannot stand, it is questions about his past."

"Yes." Tessa tried and failed to keep the bitterness out of her voice. "Yes, he has made that extremely clear. And now I find myself once more on the wrong side of the wall."

There was a pause, and then Jem once more leaned forward. "Tessa, listen to me," he said. "Will is a good person. Deep down, I sense that about him. If he has erected such a wall, it is because he believes there is no possible alternative. Although I would not blame you for it, I hope you do not judge him too harshly for it."

And then, while Tessa stared at her lap, he whispered, "But you must know, Tessa, that not all people are like that. And if you ever need comfort, ever need someone to talk to, I would never shut you out."

Tessa looked up. The cynical, New York side to her nature wanted to scream that Jem was lying, that he was trying to get in her pants and spewing out just about anything to do it. But one look into Jem's open, honest eyes told her everything she needed to know.

"Thank you, Jem Carstairs," she whispered.

Jem sat back. "And now, it looks like our food has arrived," he remarked, as the waiter set down two plates of food before them.

Tessa dug in, but she found that the knot of unhappiness that held her heart in a vice-like grip had loosened slightly. And for the first time in what felt like forever, she found herself looking forward to dinner.

**Soo, Jem is starting to help Tessa forget Will! What did you guys think? Reviews please!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys!**

Charlotte was extremely nice.

"I'd be glad to have you on board," she beamed at Tessa, "especially if you're an author."

"Aspiring author," Tessa corrected, blushing.

"Technicalities," Charlotte declared, waving her hand. She was very petite but had an air to her that made her instantly likeable. At the same time, though, Tessa sensed a steeliness under her kind demeanour, suggesting that Charlotte was made of much tougher stuff than she appeared to be.

"Jemmy will show you the ropes," she said, picking up her handbag.

_Jemmy?_ Tessa turned an incredulous grin on Jem, who grinned self-deprecatingly.

"I've got to run," Charlotte said, heading for the door, "but Jem will take good care of you. I'm sure of it."

With that, she disappeared into the streets, and Tessa was left standing with Jem in the empty bookstore.

"Let's start by organizing the new arrivals by genre," Jem suggested gently. "That's always fun."

"Okay," Tessa agreed. "Show me how it's done."

As it was, sorting the new arrivals by genre really wasn't all that fun. So Tessa and Jem got to talking. Tessa told Jem about her brother, Nate, back in New York. Jem was shaking his head by the time she finished her story.

"He doesn't deserve the chance you gave him," he sighed.

"That's what Will said," Tessa smiled sadly. "But he's my brother. I have to look after him. And hopefully, looking after the family bookstore will give him an idea of the concept of responsibility."

"You've done so much for him," Jem said softly. "You gave him another chance. I'm sure he'll thank you for it later."

Tessa closed her eyes briefly, and then changed the subject. "You said you came to England to be raised by your uncle?"

"Yes." Jem nodded, slipping a book into the shelves. "And he did. He sent me to school and university. And then he left."

"He left?"

"He left to travel Central Europe. He offered to take me with him, but I declined. I had grown too fond of London to leave."

"London is a beautiful city," Tessa agreed. "But I don't think I've seen a lot of it. I've been here for months now, and I still haven't seen much of it."

"There's so much to do and see in London," Jem responded. "Let me show you it sometime. I will show you what there is to love about our fair city."

Tessa tried to hide her smile behind her hair. "I'd love to," she said, and glanced sideways at Jem, just as he glanced at her. A shy smile was tugging at the side of his mouth, and her heart warmed to see it. "And in future, I will do the same for you with New York."

"New York." Jem wrinkled his nose. "It's so far away. I don't know if I'll ever make it there. I can't afford the tickets right now."

"You will someday," Tessa promised. "And then I will show you my hometown. It, too, is a beautiful city."

Jem glanced away, but Tessa could see his smile widening.

**~~Page Break~~**

That night, they had dinner again. They'd been having dinner quite a lot lately.

"Haven't you any other friends besides me?" Tessa teased as she twirled her fork around the tendrils of spaghetti on her plate.

Jem shrugged. "None whom I'd rather be with," he replied. Tessa might have thought that he was trying to flirt with her, but something about the way he said it, so simply and straightforwardly, made it impossible for her to doubt that he was telling anything but the truth. He smiled at her, and she realized, for the first time, that he was beautiful, too. But unlike Will, his was a much more fragile beauty, something that had to be cherished and nurtured. Something that she wanted to cradle against her bosom.

Will. She hadn't thought about him in a while, she realized. In Jem's company, she had pushed Will to the back of her mind. She hadn't been able to do that with anyone but Jem.

A couple of Chinese tourists passed by, speaking in tones she did not understand to each other under the darkening sky. Tessa inclined her head. "Can you understand them?" she asked Jem.

Jem shook his head. "China is extremely diverse," he explained to her. "These tourists are speaking Cantonese, which means they're from the south of China, near Hong Kong. I understand only Mandarin, which is the official variant, spoken in Beijing and Shanghai and the big cities – and if I say so myself, it sounds much more beautiful."

Tessa grinned. "Say something in Mandarin."

What Jem said next sounded like a stream, breathily rising and falling, rushed together. "_Wo xiang, wo kai shi ai shang ni_."

"And what does that mean?" Tessa inquired, all too aware of the parallels between this dinner and a certain moment in Hyde Park with someone else.

"It means _Do you want dessert_?" Jem raised an eyebrow as he flipped open the dessert menu. "There are some lovely choices available."

Tessa happily obliged, but as she pored over the choices of cakes and ice cream, she couldn't help but wonder if Jem really was saying what he said he was.

After all, this wasn't the first time a beautiful boy had spoken to her in a foreign tongue. And she did not know what to feel.

**Once again, don't try to translate the Mandarin. Reviews please!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys! Sorry for the long break:**

"A tour of London, Jem?" Tessa inquired as she placed the last book on its shelf. "Is that really necessary? I have, after all, been living in London some time now."

"Five and a half months, to be precise," Jem responded, slipping off the ladder and landing lightly on his feet.

"Yes," Tessa agreed, following Jem and feeling a slight tingle of pleasure that he had remembered. "Five and a half months. Going on six."

"Almost half a year." Jem fetched her coat and draped it about her shoulders with a winning grin – Tessa's heart fluttered. "We can't let that go uncelebrated. We should take you on a tour of the city."

Tessa laughed. "Okay, okay," she agreed. "A tour of London it is."

Jem grinned again, and disappeared into the shelves to do some last-minute tidying. The door to the bookstore clinked open, and a cold breeze blew in, ruffling Tessa's hair. Tessa turned, and her heart stopped.

Will stood there at the doorway. He looked as breathtakingly beautiful as he ever had, his black hair tousled from the wind, wrapped in a coat and a scarf. He saw Tessa, and raised his eyebrows.

"I did think there was the scent of American flesh around this bookstore lately," he remarked. "Was it you that brought it here, James?"

"The American flesh has a name, you know," Jem called back from the depths of the shelves.

"So it does." Will stepped forward, smiling. "Tessa. How have you been keeping?"

Tessa was speechless. She hadn't seen Will since they had broken up, and now here he was, handsome as ever, and surely as infuriating as ever – and behaving like nothing had ever happened between them.

"Just fine," she managed to say before things got awkward. "Quite well, actually. You must have quite an astute sense of smell to be able to detect the presence of American flesh."

"An astute sense of smell?" Will pondered that. "I have been praised many times by many women," he declared. "Over the years, they have chosen to compliment my hair, my eyes, my lips, my face, my shoulders – and my prowess."

"Let's not go there, shall we?" Jem remarked, emerging from the shelves.

"But not once has a lady found reason to comment on my powers of smell," Will remarked. "At least, not until today. It seems, therefore, that there is something to add to my long list of admirable features."

"Good for you," Tessa muttered under her breath, causing Jem to chuckle.

"And where are you headed?" Will inquired of Jem.

"I am taking Tessa on a tour of London," Jem explained.

"A tour of our fair city?"

"Yes," Tessa interjected. "It'll do me good, a foolish American."

Will laughed, and Jem looked at him, startled. "Well, so be it. Have fun on your tour, Tessa – there is so much in London to do."

Tessa hurried out of the bookstore without looking back, Jem on her heels. Neither of them had any way of knowing how Will's smile faded as the door clanged shut behind them, separating them and Will.

**~~Page Break~~**

"Blackfriars Bridge," Jem exclaimed, stopping and holding out his arms. "Well, here it is."

Tessa stepped forward, onto the famed bridge. Below them, the Thames swirled by.

"Blackfriars Bridge?" Tessa mused. "We've been to Buckingham Palace, the Tower of London, Trafalgar Square and Piccadilly Circus. Blackfriars Bridge seems rather modest in comparison to those tourist attractions."

Jem shrugged modestly. "Not to me. This is my favourite part of London."

Tessa looked out over the Thames. "And why is that?"

"This is where I came a lot of the time when I first came to England. I was in a foreign land, and the people here were different, almost overwhelmingly so, from Shanghai. I was struggling to adjust. This bridge provided me with – a sanctuary."

"A sanctuary? But it's so busy here," Tessa pointed out.

"That's true. But I think that's what I liked about it," Jem mused. "I felt like I was really part of London here, at the centre, with pedestrians jostling past me and traffic honking past and the mighty Thames churning below. I felt unnoticed, just part of the crowd – and in some ways that's the way I like it."

Tessa was quiet as she listened.

"I don't require a great deal of attention," Jem said in a quieter tone. "I've always been a bit quiet, really. I don't mind going unnoticed. Maybe that's why I'm friends with Will – I complement his louder nature."

"But a bit of attention can't hurt sometimes," Tessa responded, her tone just as quiet. "I don't think you'd protest if I was to call you very good-looking."

Jem's face flushed, and Tessa looked away, cursing herself. Why did she always say things without thinking?

"A bit of attention doesn't hurt," Jem conceded, and Tessa turned back to face him. "As long as it's from the right people."

Tessa suddenly noticed that the space between her and Jem's faces had narrowed considerably. She was gazing right into his eyes – his silvery, beautiful eyes.

"Jem," she whispered.

"Tessa," he responded, a smile curving his lips. "_Wo ai shang le ni_."

It didn't sound exactly the same as what he'd said to her the other night. "What?"

Jem chuckled softly. "I wasn't exactly telling the truth that night when I spoke to you in Mandarin," he confessed. "I wasn't asking about dessert. I was saying 'I think I am starting to fall in love with you'."

Tessa's heart began to pound.

"And just now," Jem said softly, "I said, 'I _have_ fallen in love with you'."

"Jem," Tessa whispered again.

"I am in love with you, Tessa," Jem said. "I am very much in love with you."

Tessa didn't think her eyes could go any wider. She wanted to say something, but she was paralyzed, torn between Jem and – of course – _Will_. The differences between them – Will had always been so mysterious, elusive. His affections were as fleeting as his moods.

But Jem – Jem shone like a beacon of white light. He was pure, and he had always worn his heart on his sleeve. And here he was, baring his soul for Tessa, in a way Will never had.

_And probably never will_, a voice in Tessa's head told her.

Jem started to look away. "I will not blame you if you do not return my feelings," he murmured softly.

"No!" Stunned back into motion, Tessa spoke. "No, Jem, it is not that…I _do_ have feelings for you."

In wonder, Jem turned to look at her. His eyes, so radiant, lighting up to a glow.

"I had not realized until you expressed your feelings for me," Tessa continued. "But, Jem – I have developed almost overwhelming feelings for you."

It was true. Unlike Will, who had made a loud, almost forceful entrance into Tessa's life, Jem had been quiet, subdued, almost unnoticeable. He had called herself to her affections with a subtlety so complete that she had not registered it until this moment. And now it was with surprise that she realized the true extent of her feelings.

What of Will? Her memory of him had retreated to a far corner, a crevice where she had been able to ignore him, at long, long last. She resolved never to disturb that memory again, lest it, and all the emotions associated therewith, resurface and once more lead her astray.

"Jem," she murmured again. They were so close now.

It was only natural when their lips met. She felt him sigh against her, draw her against his body. She wrapped her arms around his neck and lost herself in his lips. If kissing Will was like soaring, kissing Jem was like floating – it was calmer, and just what she needed, in such an exhausted state.

_Forget Will_, the voices in her head whispered as her fingers tangled in Jem's hair. _Love Jem_.

They broke apart, panting. Jem's eyes were still shining, glowing, as she looked into them.

"Tessa," he whispered.

She did the only thing that seemed right. She kissed him again.

**I'm starting to think of wrapping this story up. I'll probably spend a few more days planning out where I want it to go. Until then, reviews please!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long since I updated, but I've been incredibly busy, you've no idea - anyway, enjoy: **

Will turned the lock and, with great difficulty, stumbled into his and Jem's apartment, clutching the bags of groceries.

"Ugh. Oh, no." Veering towards the kitchen, he barely made it before the bags all fell out of his hands, their contents spilling out across the apartment floor.

Will shut his eyes. Nothing seemed to be working these days.

Opening them again, Will plucked the groceries from the ground and stacked them away in the fridge and the cupboards of the kitchen, just the way he knew Jem would want him to.

It was not ordinarily his responsibility to run errands and buy groceries – that fell onto Jem's shoulders. But as of late, Jem had been spending much less time in the apartment, catering to everyday needs and worries. Instead, Will had been left in charge of the apartment's upkeep, while Jem stayed away, out of Will's company, with Tessa.

_Tessa_. That name scorched a brand into Will's heart. Grey eyes and a trusting, pale face flashed behind his eyelids. Wincing, he opened the fridge again and pulled out a beer.

By the time Jem returned, Will was just a little drunk.

"Hello, James." He waved a hand from the couch, where he reclined on a fort of cushions. "Fancy seeing you here."

Jem wrinkled his nose as he approached. "Have you been drinking, Will?"

"I prefer to think of it as enjoying spiritual contact of the most intimate degree with my one true love."

Jem sighed as he sat down next to Will. "I wish you wouldn't, Will. It's unhealthy and it's irresponsible."

Somewhere in Will's alcohol-befuddled brain, something stirred. "Irresponsible? I assure you, there is no greater sense of responsibility to be had than mine. Only yesterday, I paid our gas and electricity bill by myself."

"Oh – oh, I'm sorry, Will. I'd quite forgotten. I'll pay you back as soon as possible."

"That's quite all right, James." Will sat up. "You needn't bother. It was a significantly cheaper bill than last month, and I believe I incurred the majority of it. After all, you are not often home these days."

Jem wasn't stupid – his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "That is true," he said warily.

"You spend most of your time with Tessa."

"Yes," Jem confirmed. "Is that to be a source of friction between us, Will?"

Will heard the plaintive note in Jem's voice. And he ignored it.

"No, Jem, it is not. If you wish to invest yourself emotionally in a woman who will only hurt you, you are perfectly entitled to do so."

Had it not been for his inebriated state, Will doubted he would ever have had the effrontery to say anything of that sort to Jem. As it was, Jem immediately bristled.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean exactly what I said. She will hurt you, Jem. Whatever love you enjoy now is only temporary. I hope you realize, as I do, that she will one day return to America, and that you are unlikely to ever see her again. You must consider the future, Jem."

"I see." Jem's voice was cold. "Is that what you were doing, Will, when you broke up with her? Considering the future?"

Will held up a hand. "Now wait just one moment – "

"Spare me your feeble defence." Jem got to his feet. "I'm going into my bedroom. I suggest, William, that you take a cold shower, and thereafter resolve to refrain from involving yourself in matters which do not pertain to you."

As Jem vanished into his bedroom, Will, too, got to his feet, to do as Jem said and take a cold shower. He lumbered into the bathroom and shut the door, and leaned against it.

Under ordinary circumstances, he would never have spoken to Jem in such a fashion. But the circumstances under which he found himself today were far from ordinary. The past few weeks, he had discovered an emptiness in his chest, a hole where his heart should have been. It confused him more than it hurt him, and he had been trying (thus far without success) to discover its cause.

This emotion, or lack thereof, was clearly intertwined closely with Tessa and her involvement with Will. Tessa. Tessa and the strange, numbing emptiness inside him – they had woven together so tightly into an impenetrable cocoon, and it was difficult to extricate anything of sense from the knot that had wound so deeply into Will's chest.

The shower water turned on, the cold water streamed out, and Will stepped under the showerhead, fully clothed. The water rained down on him, smothering his hair to his scalp, pressing his clothes to his skin. He shivered in the iciness. Reaching up, he pulled off his shirt and allowed the water to pour down his bare chest.

But Tessa had done what no one else had done before. She had refused to be intimidated by Will's past, approached with curiosity what others had approached with caution and fear. That kind of curiosity frightened Will, because it signalled to him someone who could not be controlled, someone whose unpredictable nature was disrupting Will's emotionless predictability.

If nothing else, Tessa had awoken in Will emotion, all the emotions that he had felt in the past. He felt them swirling around him now. He closed his eyes, the water still streaming over him, and his past in Wales rose to claim him…

_He's ten, playing in the garden, and chasing his sister. "Catch me, Will!" she laughs, and he leaps after her. _

_ "Ella!" _

_ Ella races over the green grass, graceful as a hare – she's faster than him, because she's older, but only by three years – and does a cartwheel. "Bet you can't do it, Will!" _

_ "Bet I can!" Will tries and fails, and Ella collapses in laughter. _

_ "Will! Ella!" Will's other sister toddles to the front door. Just six years old, Cecily is the youngest Herondale. "_The Magic School Bus_ is on TV!" _

_ Ella darts towards the door and takes Cecily's hand. "Let's watch it then, silly. Are you coming, Will?" _

_ And Will follows._

The memory changed…

_He's eleven, and he sits in the hospital room, an arm around Cecily. His parents are speaking to the doctor, and they're saying things Will doesn't understand. _

_ "Chemotherapy…"_

_ "Malignant…"_

_ "Advanced…"_

_ The doctor clears his throat. "At this stage in development, Mr. and Mrs. Herondale, the disease is no longer centralized, but rather spread out across the body. There is very little we can do for Ella now…"_

_ Mam begins crying, and the doctor shakes his head. "My deepest condolences…"_

_ And then he's being ushered through a door, and there's Ella, but she's not really Ella because she doesn't have her hair anymore. He asked her about it, but she winked and told him she lost it by accident, and the nice doctors were just helping her find it. But she isn't winking now. She looks very tired, but she smiles anyway when Will comes near, and she grasps his hand. _

_ "I think I'll keep my hair this way, actually," she tells Will. "It suits me, don't you think? Makes my brain look bigger." _

_ Her hand is cold, but too soon it's being ripped away, and Will's being ushered out…_

_ And there's a black box, being lowered into the ground, and there are tears, and silence, and pain of the most unimaginable degree…_

Will's eyes jerked open and he gasped. He had not thought about Ella in such vivid detail for years, and his heart ached with the memory of her. The heartbreak, the destructive, merciless, unrelenting pain that he had endured every day since she died, it was all still there, just lurking under the surface.

And it was all Tessa's fault. He had kept it under lock and key and managed it. And then she had come and –

Will growled as he switched off the shower water and stepped out of the shower. Towelling himself off, he forced his emotions back into the box they had occupied for so long.

_Let Jem have Tessa. I don't want her_.

Almost as unreal as after Ella's death.

**Reviews please!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey everyone!**

Two months.

Two months had passed since Jem had first kissed Tessa. And they'd been some of the happiest in Jem's life.

Every day, they'd gone out to see more of London, this great, marvellous city. Every day, Tessa would learn something new, something about London or Britain that she'd missed – and Jem learned something new about Tessa.

Two months had whirled by, filled with the sights and smells of London and Tessa, two things he loved very, very well. And, of course, a subtle bookstore.

Jem was not above making out with Tessa at the back of the bookstore, where nobody could see.

It was on one such occasion when the bell at the door tinkled open. Tessa gently pushed Jem away, giggling despite his feeble attempts to draw her back into his arms, and got to her feet. Jem sighed in resignation and heard her move away between the shelves as he buttoned his shirt back up.

"How can I help you?" he heard Tessa's voice say. "Oh, Will! Good to see you."

Jem finished buttoning his shirt and went to join them. Will stood there, his hair curling slightly in the London humidity. Jem smiled at him, though it was with a touch more wariness than usual. They had never properly made amends over the fight over Tessa, and although they were once more on cordial terms, it was just that – cordial.

"Hi, Tessa," Will said meekly. Unusual, that. "I was just here to see if Jem was available."

Jem frowned. "My shift ends in fifteen minutes. Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering if you'd like to go for dinner with me. The way we used to."

Will was right – there hadn't been as many opportunities for them to go to dinner lately. Jem's time had been completely consumed by Tessa, and Will was often left alone as a result. Jem wondered if Will felt lonely – although he'd never admit as much to anyone.

"I'd love to," Jem said. "Let me just finish off my shift – "

"No, go." Tessa was waving her hand at him. "It's fine. I'll finish up and close the bookstore. You boys have a good night."

"Thanks, love." Jem pecked her on the cheek. Will watched with an unreadable expression, and as Jem went to get his coat his lips formed a slight smile. Wistful? No, never with Will. Just indiscernible.

Jem and Will stepped into the street. The air was beginning to feel the chilly touch of evening. Election posters hung from the brick walls of the buildings around them – a general election was fast approaching. Jem and Will strolled down the street.

"I was thinking that café we used to go to?" Will asked. "Not far from here."

Jem grinned. "You read my mind, as always."

And so to the café they went. Jem ordered a salad, while Will ordered a large cheeseburger. When the food arrived, though, Will didn't seem very hungry. He took his time eating his burger and played with his fries.

"I'll have them if you're not going to," Jem said, taking a fry and dipping it in ketchup.

"I'm sorry about how I picked a fight with you over Tessa," Will said suddenly.

Jem blinked. "How sudden."

"I never really apologized." Will looked at his fries.

"There's no need to," Jem said. "I'm sure I would've been pretty irritable if I'd had to pay the bills by myself – especially if I wasn't used to such responsibility."

Will looked at him, and he smiled widely. Jem smiled back, and realized how he'd missed this – the camaraderie between them. It had never gone, it just hadn't surfaced lately. It was just Jem and Will, the way it always had been.

"There's been something I've been meaning to ask you," Will continued. "Tessa – she makes you happy?"

Jem looked at him. "What?"

"She makes you happy?" Will focused his gaze on him in complete earnest.

"I – she makes me more than happy." Jem felt his gaze turn inward. "I love her, Will. I'm disastrously in love with her."

Will looked at him, and a small smile turned up the corners of his lips. "All right. That's all I needed to know."

Jem quirked his head quizzically. "Why do you ask?"

"I just – wanted to be sure. I love you, too, and I want you to be happy."

Jem grinned and clapped Will, his brother, on the shoulder. "Thank you, Will."

The rest of the dinner passed wonderfully. They bantered, they laughed, they joked, just as they always had. But sometimes, Jem caught Will looking at him – well, if he hadn't known better, he would've said it was a wistful gaze. But Will was never wistful. Will was Will.

As they left the café, Will stretched and yawned. "You're coming back home? I need someone to clean up after me after I shower and go to bed."

Jem laughed. "Unfortunately, I'm expected at Tessa's. I'll see you later tonight? I'll clean up after you then."

"Oh." Will looked a little lost, just for one moment, and then grinned again. "All right, Carstairs. I'll see you then."

They parted ways on the Tube, and Jem headed for Tessa's shared apartment, a little bemused. Had Will been – _vulnerable _tonight? It was so unlike him.

Musing over Will's strange behaviour, he reached Tessa's apartment.

"Tessa?" he called, knocking at the door. "Sophie?"

There were footsteps, and Tessa answered. "It's me," she said, letting him in. "Sophie's not in."

There was a distracted, almost wild look in her eyes. Jem frowned, taking her in. She was dressed in an oversized T-shirt and sweatpants. Her hair was slightly dishevelled and she wore one slipper – not two. "Tessa, is everything okay?"

Tessa nodded. "It's just – it's just I've received some – very overwhelming news."

Jem frowned again. "Is it something you'd like to talk about?"

"No, no." Tessa strode over to him, and grasped his scarf in her hand. He jumped at the suddenness. "Just kiss me."

She yanked the scarf forward, toward her, and Jem's lips met hers. As always, when they kissed, he forgot everything except her – the world was aflame, on fire with Tessa's scent, Tessa's taste, Tessa's lips. Except there was a passion to their kisses now that there had not been before – a hunger and a kindling that had been hinted at, but no more.

Jem felt it as he shrugged off his coat and scarf. Tessa's fingers were at the buttons of his shirt, and in their frantic activity ripped the fabric slightly. She broke away to gasp in dismay, but he shook his head and kissed her again, and it was forgotten as he shrugged off the shirt. He did not understand what was happening, but he knew better than to question it.

Off came Jem's pants. Somehow they'd stumbled into Tessa's bedroom, and Tessa now placed her hands on his bare chest and pushed him, pushed him onto her bed. He landed, panting, looking up at her. She was still fully dressed, somehow still wearing her shirt and sweatpants. Her eyes were wild, as she took him in, clad in just boxers. Slowly, she took the hem of his boxers in her fingers and very, very slowly pulled them off.

Jem now lay naked before her, and was surprised at how vulnerable he felt. Her eyes roamed over him, and he suddenly felt embarrassed and awkward, in equal parts. It was amazing just what her gaze could do to him. "I know," he said, to break the silence. "I know, I am not…"

"You're beautiful," she said, her eyes smouldering. "Jem Carstairs, you are beautiful." And he could tell that she meant it, every word.

Jem smiled shyly, feeling blush creeping up on his cheeks. "I am naked, but you are fully clothed. It seems unfair to me."

A smile caught Tessa's lips, and she reached up and pulled her T-shirt over her head. Jem was amazed to find that she'd been wearing nothing underneath it. Now, she pulled down her sweatpants, revealing a small set of underwear. Still wearing it, she knelt onto the bed and straddled Jem's naked body.

"Are we even now?" she asked in a low, throaty voice.

Jem could hardly form words, but he whispered, "A bit better."

Tessa leaned down. Jem lay back and let her hands explore the contours of his chest, her fingers tracing lightly over his skin, heading down, down, down…

Jem tipped his head backward and moaned.

Tessa smiled. "Kiss me," she whispered.

The kissing picked up again, and this time there was nothing to hold them back. Jem flipped Tessa over so she was lying on her back and he hovering over her. Their kisses deepened, and his fingers found her underwear.

_This is it_, he told himself.

And suddenly he noticed a salty tang on his lips.

Breaking away from the kiss, he found Tessa crying.

"Tessa? Tessa, what's wrong?" He scrambled to hug her in his arms. "We – we don't need to do this. I'm sorry if I rushed you into anything…"

"No, no, it's not that." Tessa gulped. "It's just – oh, I should've just told you when you walked in…" She looked at him seriously, tears still brimming in her eyes. "I'm going back to the United States."

**I'm so, so sorry about the long wait. It's just I had some personal problems to deal with, but I should be okay now. Anyway, I really think it's time to wrap this story up, don't you think? It's had a nice run. Reviews please!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey guys! This chapter's going to get a bit emotional...**

Jem sat up slowly, his nakedness seemingly forgotten. "Oh," he said.

Tessa felt the tears course down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, I just found out," she whispered. "My novel's finished. I sent in the draft to my publishers in the US, and they loved it. Loved it so much, actually, that they insisted I go back, sooner than expected. I thought I had more time here – more time in London…"

"No, no, it's all right." Jem was calm – Jem was always calm. "I understand. If your publishers need you back home, then you must go back. It's your career, your dream, and I would never keep you from it."

"Jem – "

"It's all right." Jem's voice was soft, his voice tender.

"But Jem – it means I'd have to leave you."

Jem was silent a moment more, then he took her hands in his.

"Tessa," he told her, "part of my heart is breaking in two, because you'll be gone from me. But at the same time – I'm overjoyed for you. I know what this means for you, and I – " He choked over his words. "I can't wait for you to embark on this journey."

It was true, Tessa could see it in his eyes. There was sadness there, heart-breaking sadness, and yet there was sincerity and joy there too. Jem was just that person – someone else's good news could fill him with joy as if the news was his. His heart was in his eyes, bared for her to see. And it was this selfishness, this openness, that finally pried open that hidden part of Tessa's heart, the part she had cached away even from herself.

"That's not all." Her voice was quiet.

"What is it?" Jem's voice was gentle.

Tessa gulped. "I – I've been meaning to leave London for a while."

Jem was silent. He knew her so well, he knew when she wasn't finished.

"I've been very confused," Tessa murmured, staring at her feet. "About my feelings."

"Your feelings for me?"

Jem's voice, quiet but with an undertone of hurt, was Tessa's undoing. She looked up at him, meeting his eyes and baring her soul at last.

"My feelings for you, and my feelings for Will," she breathed.

At last, it was in the open – the secret, almost illicit feelings she'd harboured for Will all these months. Jem's eyes were wide, and he gazed at her uncomprehendingly. Tessa pressed on.

"It's – I – I don't know what to tell you," she blubbered. "I've been running from my feelings for Will all this time, because of how he hurt me, because of who he is, because – "

"Because of me?"

Tessa squirmed, and nodded. "I have never acted on my feelings," she told Jem. "Never. Not since – we parted. I've been with you, and only with you."

"Answer me something." Jem's voice was still quiet, and there was no hint of anger or turmoil in his voice. Tessa would have almost preferred it if he had shouted. "Do you love him?"

And suddenly the crucial question Tessa had eschewed for so long was before her. With Jem waiting patiently, she cast about for the right answer, looking left to right, before finally giving the only right answer.

"Yes." It was nothing more than a whisper. "Yes, I love him."

Jem nodded. "I've always thought so," he admitted. "Always suspected it."

Tessa shook her head in bewilderment. "And yet you chose to be with me anyway?"

Jem smiled shyly. "I hoped that you might come to love me."

"But I do," Tessa cried. "I love you, too. I love you – and I love him. It sounds ridiculous," she continued, aware that she was beginning to babble, "but it's the truth. I love you and I love him." She paused, then went on. "You two are part of each other – so closely interwoven that I can't love one without loving the other."

Jem nodded. "I think I understand."

Tessa blinked. "I wasn't expecting you to – I just had to tell you what I was feeling. I thought you'd hate me."

"Even if you'd told me you'd never loved me," Jem said, "I would've forgiven you – because I love you, Tessa, and I love him. If he is to have your heart, if it was not to be me – I could not be happier for the both of you." He smiled at her. "I love you both, Tessa. And I could never hate you. You are a part of my heart."

Jem's awful goodness was too much to bear, and Tessa felt the tears spill out of her eyes again. "Oh, Jem," she whispered. She leaned forward, and their lips met in a tender kiss. She knew that this might be their last, and so lost herself in it, giving himself over entirely to Jem's lips.

Their arms found each other, and they lay down sideways on the bed, still kissing. When at last the kiss was broken, Jem was breathing heavily. "I love you, Tessa," he whispered.

"I love you, Jem," she responded, tears still leaking out her eyes.

A small smile still curved Jem's lips, and it was the last thing Tessa saw as they both fell asleep, facing each other, inches apart.

_I love you, Jem_, Tessa thought to herself as she fell asleep. But when she dreamed, she dreamed of Will.

**Reviews please!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey guys! Sorry for the two and a half month break, I've been incredibly busy and I kind of lost track with this story. But anyway: **

It was later than Will had expected when Jem walked into their shared apartment. "Carstairs," he said jovially. "It's past your bedtime, isn't it?"

Jem walked in slowly, his eyes unfocused. He sat down slowly on the couch.

Instantly Will was by his side. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Jem? Are you all right?"

Jem nodded, looking almost bewildered. "Tessa – Tessa's going back to America."

In that moment, Will felt an extraordinary range of emotions, beyond any emotional capacity of which he had previously thought himself capable. He felt sorrow for his friend, sorrow that the love of Jem's life was leaving. He imagined Jem's feelings, and it tore him apart to imagine his best friend floundering in the wake of Tessa's departure.

At the same time, to his horror, he felt his own heart sink, as the object of his own love left him too. And he hated himself for his selfishness.

Quashing his own feelings, he softened his tone. "I'm sorry, Jem. What are you going to do?"

"I – I don't know." Confusion rang in Jem's voice as he shook his head. "We talked about it. And – I understand why she must leave." Then, to Will's astonishment, he turned and asked, "And how do you feel?"

"Me?"

"Yes." Jem's voice was serious. "About Tessa leaving."

Will was lost for words. "I feel – I feel sorry. I can't imagine how you must be feeling…"

"Yes, you can."

"I can?"

"Do you love her?"

There was no note of accusation in Jem's soft voice. Will considered lying briefly, but dismissed the notion as quickly as he thought of it. Lying to Jem was not an option – he had always known Will better than Will knew himself. The truth, then.

"Yes," Will whispered. "Yes. I didn't want to let myself love her, but I didn't have a choice. I fell for her, so deeply and so quickly that it frightened even me. But I couldn't say anything – how could I? When you were so plainly in love with her."

Jem said nothing, and Will looked quickly at him. "Jem?" He didn't know if he could bear Jem's hatred, or even his hurt. He wouldn't be whole without the constancy of Jem's unconditional friendship.

"I'm sorry that I kept you apart for so long," Jem whispered.

"No!" Will couldn't listen to Jem speak this way. "No, it was never like that. Because she never loved me, never loved me as she does you."

Jem looked up at him. "But that is exactly how she loves you."

Will stared.

"Tessa loves you, Will," Jem continued. "She loves me, too. She has intended to leave London for a while now. She loves both of us."

Even despite himself, Will's heart began to flutter again.

"You must hate me," he whispered.

"Never." Jem shook his head. "I could never hate you, William. You are part of me. I love you as I love her. You and Tessa are the two halves to my heart. Without you two, I could never be whole." Jem looked down. "I love you both," he whispered.

"I don't know what I did to deserve your goodness," Will said.

Jem looked up, smiling. "Don't know what you did?" he said. "It's very simple, Will. You were my friend."

Will shook his head. "I can't ever hope to deserve this."

"But you have, Will, with every passing day."

Will closed his eyes. "I love you, too, Jem. You saved my life. Again, and again, you have saved my life, and I don't know how I'll ever thank you."

Jem chuckled softly. "What are friends for?"

Then they were hugging, Will clutching Jem closer to his chest than anyone else ever had been. He just wanted to melt into Jem, become one with the one person who had understood him so fully, so completely.

Jem drew back suddenly. "Go," he said softly.

"Go?"

"Go to her."

Again, Jem had understood implicitly what was in Will's heart.

There was no further need for words. Within seconds, Will was on his feet and on his way out the door.

**Reviews please!**


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